STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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