It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
