i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
