Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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