Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize