I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
