There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We need a shit load of segways right now
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh