i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
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He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner