hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
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And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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