I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.