i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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