can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
