Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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