i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
