i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
