so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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