Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
there is puke in my bra ... again
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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