Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
