We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
