well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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