So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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