You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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