i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
