its not stalking. its research.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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