spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
