If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
