I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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