i don't like sucking hair
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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