Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
try to milk me bitch
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