Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
