Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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