how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
