I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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