Swine flu. Run for my life!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
