Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize