You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I yelled at your uterus for you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize