I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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