After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
