I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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