I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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