Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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