Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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