i don't like sucking hair
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
