Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
