Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
