As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
