but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
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...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.