You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
