i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
