You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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