I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
