Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
