If you die in college, do you die in real life?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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