is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize