watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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