I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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