I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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