Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
