You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
