This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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