Pappa wants mamma naked
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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