she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
