i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
