Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
