3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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