Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize