of course. lets lasso hookers.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
