I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
