Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
