dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
