I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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