You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
